


Sing for Me

by DovaBunny



Series: Fenders Ficlets [12]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fenders, Fenris & Dorian, Fenris and Dorian being best bros, Fenris was a slave but then he got better, M/M, Modern AU, Multi, Soul Bond, it's all good, now he's in a hipster coffee shop giving Dorian sass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-20 21:12:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16563224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DovaBunny/pseuds/DovaBunny
Summary: Soulmates can hear each other through their connection if they sing. Fenris was 12 years old when he first heard a song in his head, nearly breaking his master's vase.OR - that soulmate AU where Fenris and Anders sing to each other as they grow up, then at uni Dorian drags Fenris with him to go camping with some friends and shit happens. That fic.





	Sing for Me

**Author's Note:**

> To my knowledge the inspiration/prompt for this trope [ can be found here ](https://ahsatan96.tumblr.com/post/121183921437/yourweeaboobs-yuekono-destiel-ismyotp). Then the talented [ Timesorceror wrote this brilliant Fenris/Dorian ficlet ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8100991).
> 
> For [ Aclarencecollins ](https://aclarencecollins.tumblr.com/) who asked for a Fenders Modern AU where ‘they support each other despite the world being shit’. #Kinksame.
> 
> Also big thank to the Notorious [ TheJourneyManinn ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejourneymaninn/pseuds/thejourneymaninn) for emotional assistance and dairy product recommendations. Blessings of the Gouda God upon ye. 
> 
> Lastly - all the songs are listed in order in the end notes! If you're not sure what song it is or want to check it out. Enjoy!

Fenris was 12 when it first happened. It was like being struck by a lightning bolt he couldn’t feel but it shook him all the same. He dropped the bowl in his hands, and if it wasn’t for his sister’s quick reflexes their master would’ve had his hide for breaking it. 

It was like a song playing in his head… only it seemed to come from somewhere in his chest. And it certainly wasn’t his own imagination. He’d never heard the tune before. Slaves were never permitted to sing unless told to, and there was no need for slaves to seek out music on their own, unless they unintentionally overheard it. 

He stood frozen, transfixed, as he stared at nothing and listened... 

_ “Anders and Karl ~ sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G ~” _

...what the...

 

***

 

He kept it a secret - it was his and his alone. The childish tunes and half-mumbled songs that he was sure was mostly made-up lyrics came and went in a seemingly irregular pattern. He didn’t know if he was going insane - maybe it was the work of a demon? - but no, it didn’t feel evil, instead it felt… warm. Good. Safe. 

His secret nearly slipped when his mother noted him tapping his toes while washing dishes as she tidied up the kitchen for the night. 

_ “I want to be ~ where the people are. I wanna see ~ wanna see them dancing ~” _

“My boy,” she said softly, despite them being alone in the big steel and marble kitchen. “What is that you’re doing with your feet? Have you taken up dancing?” Her voice held a smile, as it always did when she spoke to her children. It was so unlike the polite but cold tone she addressed their master and mistress with. 

Fenris swallowed nervously at being caught. “I- It’s nothing, mother.” He kept his gaze firmly on the heavy cast iron pot he was scrubbing with steel wool till his hands felt raw. “Just some tune I overheard Dorian sing.”

“Hmm,” there was disbelief there, but she didn’t call him on it. He didn’t know if he appreciated or hated it. “That’s ‘ _ master’  _ Dorian, my boy. Wouldn’t want his parents or the other slaves overhearing you address him as such. No matter what he tells you, no matter your similar age - he is still your master and you are his slave.”

His ears drooped. He knew she was right, of course she was. Dorian may call him ‘Fen’ and page through comics with him while hiding from his parents, but they weren’t friends. They could never be. Even though Fenris was the closest to a friend Dorian had, and Dorian was the closest to a friend Fenris had. 

Still. The reminder stung.

“Of course, mother.”

A touch on his chin as she turned his face up to look at her. She looked older, heavier, than normal - like she was sad and something weighed down on her. How had he never seen this?

“I’m sorry my boy. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just don’t want to see you getting hurt or taken from us.”

_ “ ~ wandering free - wish I could be - part of that world ~” _

 

***

 

“Fen?”

_ “Let’s get down to business! ~ To defeat, the Huns!”  _

“Fenris?”

_ “Did they send me daughters ~ when I asked, for sons!” _

“Hellooo? Anybody in there?” Fenris jumped when he blinked to see Dorian right in front of him waving over his eyes. 

“I- I apologize, Master Dorian. Forgive me.”

“Pfft, please Fen. We’ve been over this. There’s no need for this ‘master’ business with me. One day when we’re big and I join the magisterium I’m going to get rid of slavery to make sure of that.” The boy pulled a determined face at that. Fenris believed him. “Where did you go there for a moment?”

Fenris shifted from foot to foot. Could he tell Dorian? Sure they weren’t friends, his mother reminded him of that, but Dorian wouldn’t tell on him. Would he? 

He looked up at Dorian’s warm grey eyes, always so curious. They’ve practically grown up together, the same age too, having both turned 14 this year. No, Dorian won’t tell. 

“I…,” his voice was timid and soft, forcing Dorian to lean in to hear. “I sometimes hear songs. In my head. Songs I don’t know.”

The boy’s eyes went wide for a moment, like Fenris had just admitted that the Black Divine was a sack of nugs in a dress with a staff. Fenris took a step back, regret and shame warring in him. But Dorian reached out to grab his arm before he could scurry off. “Truly???”

“Yes. Why would I lie?”

“You know what this means, right? Oh Fen, please tell me you do!”

Fenris’ brows furrowed, irritated by being reminded of his inadequacy. “No, I don’t,” his voice might be clipped, but Dorian didn’t let it show. 

“It’s your soulmate! Oh what excitement! I’ve read up on it, and a few of my Northern fantasy storybooks mentions it. It’s rather uncommon, especially in the South. Every now and then two soulmates are born with the ability to hear songs through their shared connection. The belief is that the Maker created one soul but two bodies and minds, and that you share that connection for life.”

“So… they can hear me think?” A soulmate? Him? No… surely that can’t…

_ “You’re a spineless, pale, pathetic lot ~ and you haven’t got a clue ~” _

“No, unfortunately. Only singing. Strange, is it not? Something about song being the language of the heart? Honestly, I didn’t get that into it. I waited for months straining myself to hear a note that wasn’t of my own imagination. I was so constipated and tensed up I can’t even tell you. So I accepted that alas, I do not have a soulmate. But you - mister grumpy ears - you do!”

_ “ ~ Somehow I’ll make a man out of you!” _

Fenris’ heart was racing. He had a soulmate. Somewhere out there. 

_ “I’m never gonna catch my breath ~ say goodbye to those who knew me ~ boy, was I a fool in school for cutting Gym!” _

Fenris had a soulmate and he could hear him.

_ “ ~ Be a Man!” _

And they were singing right now… 

_ “ ~ Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!” _

 

***

 

It was in the early hours of the morning, the whole house asleep, except for Fenris. He was seated next to Dorian’s bed with a bucket, a glass of water, and aspirin. The young mage had slipped out to celebrate his 16th birthday with a couple of rebellious classmates, and of course proceeded to get drunk off his ass. It was Felix that snuck into the slave’s quarters to wake Fenris, knowing Dorian needed the elf’s help to not get caught. 

Fenris had practically dragged Dorian into the house, keeping him from toppling over, making too much noise, or veering off course. Finally in his rooms, it was an even more challenging mission to get Dorian out of his wine-soaked finery, cleaned up, and into sleeping clothes. The semi-conscious, and bigger (but luckily not stronger) boy wrestling him every step and sadly mumbling something about the bottle spinning but never landing on Rilienus, and something about Livia being a bitch.  

By 4h30 Fenris finally had a clean, stomach-emptied, then rehydrated, snoring Dorian in his bed. Although it did seem like Dorian had thrown up everything he had ever had to drink in his life, he had chugged every bottle of water Fenris handed him along with aspirin. Fenris decided to keep watch in case Dorian were to throw up again causing questions from other slaves or his parents, or even worse, choke.

He sighed heavily and rolled his shoulders, wincing as they cracked and popped. He was in a foul mood, but not because of Felix waking him or Dorian’s...Dorian-ness. Although they did both have a history test coming up. (He still couldn’t believe Dorian and Felix managed to convince Master and Mistress Pavus that Fenris should attend school with them so that he could carry their bags and help with their homework. He did neither, they just wanted him to go to school with them, and he was endlessly thankful for that.) But no, he had a strange, heavy feeling in his chest that wouldn’t go away. Like he was hurting, but he wasn’t, which made him feel frustrated.

_ “If there’s a prize for rotten judgement ~ I guess I already won that ~” _

Fenris’ ears perked at that. There’d been love songs a-plenty over the last two years. Many teasing, many pop hits, but many heartbreakingly romantic. 

_ “ ~ No chance! No way, I won’t say it - no, no ~ It’s too cliche, I won’t say I’m in love ~” _

He had suspected it, but a pang of unjust jealousy prevented him from admitting it to himself…

His soulmate was in love. Miserably and helplessly in love. With someone else. 

_ “ ~ at least, out loud, I won’t say I’m in love ~” _

Fenris managed a tight-lipped smile through the crushing feeling in his chest. Over the past two years Fenris had lived for the songs he heard over their connection. Whether cheesy Disney songs, or typical teenage trash, he revelled in each one as they told him of his soulmate - their feelings, their fears, their moods, and their dreams. He had fallen for this faceless stranger that was as much a part of him as his own heart, but who didn’t even know he was here. His daydreams were filled with fantasies of meeting them, of hearing their voice in person, seeing the colour of their eyes, of finding one another and being happy.... But that was just a dream.

“Be happy,” he whispered to himself, as if he could tell his soulmate the words. “One of us should be.”

A gloriously undignified snort from Dorian reminded him of the mage’s presence. He chuckled softly at his friend. But that gave him an idea… Maybe he could reach out to his soulmate, let him know he was here and he wanted him to be happy. He had been a good slave and never sang, as he was never ordered to. The classical music usually preferred in the Pavus household was beautiful, but that wasn’t of the sort he could sing.  But he had always kept an ear out for Dorian’s taste in music, which he liked to blast in his car when Fenris had to accompany him to school or an event as his manservant, or in Dorian’s rooms. Still, Fenris never felt the desire to sing when he was alone. Which was rarely anyway.

But here, now…

He would try. His soulmate was up and would be listening. He would finally let him know he was here. 

_ “Somebody said you got a new friend… Does she love you better than I can...” _ His voice was rough, low, and barely above a whisper. But he would try. He cleared his throat again, feeling awkward but determined.  _ “There’s a big black sky over my town - I know where you at, I bet she’s around. Stilettos and broken bottles - I’m spinning around in circles. I’m in the corner watching you kiss her - oh oh oh...” _

Fenris held his breath, but his heart was pounding in his chest. He couldn’t go another verse, that was as far as he could push himself. Did his soulmate hear him? Did he scare them off, or are they just stunned? Would they respond?

He sat fidgeting in his seat, listening so intently his ears started ringing. 

This was a mistake. Why the hell did he think of it! He should never have - 

_ “~ I’m right over here, why can’t you see me, oh oh oh ~” _

His breath caught in his throat. They were responding… They heard him and they were reaching out!

_ “I’m giving it my all but I’m not the guy you’re taking home… oh-oohhh” _

_ “~ I keep dancing on my own ~” _

Fenris’ hand slapped over his mouth to stifle a sound between a sob and a laugh. They were communicating! He felt a giddiness and confusion that was not just his. He chuckled and bounced a bit on his seat before trying something else.

_ “Cecilia, you’re breaking my heart - you’re shaking my confidence daily. Oh, Cecilia - I’m down on my knees, I’m begging you please to come home.”  _ He kept his voice as low as he could, knowing the snoring Altus wouldn’t hear him but not wanting his voice to echo in the empty marble halls. 

A beat of silence, then the response came - 

_ “They call me ‘Hell’ ~ They call me ‘Stacey’ ~ They call me ‘her’ ~ They call me ‘Jane’. That’s not my name ~ That’s not my name.” _

Now Fenris was definitely smirking to keep from giggling. His soulmate had a sense of humour. Maybe a girl? 

_ “Wise men say - only fools rush in..” _

_ “...but I can’t help ~ falling in love with you. Shall I stay ~ would it be a sin…” _

_ “...if I can’t help… falling in love with you.” _

 

***

 

“Is there anything else you need?” Dorian’s wavering voice asked softly, as if the boy feared speaking to loud would break Fenris… more than he already was. 

Fenris had been missing for two months before they found him - locked away in a cell in one of Magister Danarius’ sick experimentation chambers. The Magister had seen him attending school with Dorian and Felix, and noted Fenris’ physical strength as he excelled at every sport he tried his hand at. When negotiations with Halward to buy Fenris - for ‘research purposes and the betterment of science’ - failed, the older man resorted to kidnapping. 

“I’m fine, Dorian,” Fenris’ voice croaked. He was in bed in the guest room of Dorian’s chambers. The doctor had just left and the nurse was still cleaning away the bloodied bandages and equipment. It took a spirit healer almost an hour to put Fenris back together, and even longer for a doctor and nurse to stitch up and cast and bandage what the mage couldn’t heal in fear over-exerting Fenris’ already weak body. 

“No you’re not fine! Kaffas…” Dorian angrily wiped at his eyes, which were uncharacteristically bare of eyeliner, “if that sick fuck wasn’t behind bars already I would rip him limb from limb. I’m so sorry Fen… I should have-”

“There was nothing you could have done. You had your father pay the Anitvan crows to find me, a slave no one else would’ve cared about, after the Templars couldn’t. I already owe you my life.”

“We should’ve seen it coming… when he came here asking to ‘buy’ you like you were nothing more than property to play with then dispose of!” Dorian was vibrating with anger, fury, and anguish. 

Fenris sighed. “Your distress is well-meaning, and I deeply appreciate it. But Dorian, what’s done is done. And I’m very tired.”

“Of- of course. Venhendis, of course, I apologize. I’ll let you rest. If you need anything, I’m in the next room.” 

Fenris gave him a nod and the young man left, leaving the door open a crack. 

He had been drifting off when he heard it, his soulmate’s song. It was strangely more gentle than usual.

_ “Hello Darkness my old friend ~ I’ve come to talk with you again.” _

Fenris smiled weakly, a warmth comforting him. His soulmate was concerned. Maybe they had felt his pain and fear somehow?

_ “Because a vision softly creeping ~Left its seeds while I was sleeping ~And the vision that was planted in my brain ~ Still remains ~Within the sound of silence.” _

_ “You are not alone - I am here with you. Although we’re far apart - you’re always in my heart.” _

_ “Light up, light up ~ as if you have a choice. Even if you cannot hear my voice ~ I’ll be right beside you dear.” _

They were trying to comfort him. He didn’t know how, but somehow they knew he needed them. Tears that he had refused to shed in front of anyone blurred his vision and burned the freshly healed skin on his face.

His mother had been distraught and was overjoyed to have her son back alive, and Dorian had been so furious it took a Templar’s smite to keep him from killing Danarius while Fenris gave his statement and the Magister was arrested. But somehow, the gentle comfort of his soulmate reached further than any gentle hand or hug could. 

He tried to push sleep off for a few more moments, wanting to let them know he was okay. Or rather, he will be okay. That’s when the right song came to mind, bringing a small smile to his lips. He’ll just have to rearrange it a bit.

_ “At first I was afraid - I was petrified. Do you think I’d crumble - Did you think I’d lay down and die? Oh no not I - I will survive. As long as I know how to love I know I’ll stay alive. I’ve got all my life to live - I’ve got all my love to give, and I’ll survive.” _

A few beats as a vague feeling of distress tugged at their connection, followed by deep relief and concern. 

_ “Every night in my dreams ~ I see you ~ I feel you. That is how I know you go on.” _

Fenris smirked. Titanic. A tragedy. It seemed fitting. 

_ “Far across the distance, and spaces, between us - you have come to show you go on.” _

_ “You’re here ~ there’s nothing I fear. And I know that my heart will go on. We’ll stay ~ forever this way ~ you are safe in my heart and my heart will go on and on.” _

 

***

 

“Dorian no.”

“Dorian yes!”

Fenris sighed into his Americano, lifting a single dark eyebrow up at the ridiculous mage in front of him. His white fringe hanging over his deep green eyes that were narrowed at his grinning friend. 

Many slaves back home would call him ungrateful and shameless for being so forward and informal with his master, but here Fenris was no slave and Dorian no Master. A better slave might’ve praised his master and thank him for the honour of choosing them to accompany him to university in a foreign land - Fenris knew Dorian was not above begging him to tag along when he got in to study ancient history and magical theory at Kirkwall’s famous Circle University. 

It was nicknamed the ‘Gallows’ for a reason - well, beyond it being built on the ruins of a dragon age slave trading post then later circle tower - it was the best university with the toughest entry exams and most cutthroat professors. 

So naturally Dorian had them all wrapped around his finger. His magical theory professor was none other than Felix’s father and a Tevinter Magister himself - Prof Gereon Alexius- who was the one to convince Halward to let Dorian study here, and helped pull strings to get Fenris in too. His ancient history professor was a sour-faced tall elf with a bald head and what Dorian referred to as a ‘hobo aesthetic’. Prof Solas hated many things, tea, tardiness, students, any book published in the last two centuries, but there was one this he adored and that was intellectual curiosity and an interest in his work. Dorian had that in the bag. 

Which brings them to now; he was sitting here in an overpriced hipster coffee shop with a gluten-free organic locally-sourced breakfast panini and an over-excited roommate. Dorian decided it was a good idea for the two of them to join a local ‘Outdoors Club’ all because the stupid mage had the biggest crush on it’s captain. 

“It’s not my fault you have fallen harder for Cullen than that time Jowan tripped over himself and face-planted so hard falling down the stairs that he knocked himself out. You want to lick the commander’s sword and watch him pitch his tent - you go camp with him.”

“My dearest, sweetest, Fenris - I cannot go alone, you know this as well as I do. I need you to tell him about me before I appear, we have a wingman system and it works! Also look at me, no one will take this vessel of elegance and beauty seriously on its own, I need your ruggedness to balance me out and make us both appear more normal.”

It was true. Dorian loved piercings and tattoos...and expensive sunglasses and tight but black low-cut v-neck shirts that showed off the snake tattoo on his neck and Tevene designs on his arms, while also making the gold of his earrings, nose ring, bangles and rings pop. While Fenris’ hair never grew back to its original black after he recovered, instead coming out white as snow. He shaved it at the sides but Dorian insisted he keep it longer on top. His tattoos, however, were there to help hide and cover the extensive scarring over his body. They scared many people off, but he used to scare many more before he got them.

Fenris gave a dismissive grunt as he picked at his breakfast. “Hmm. No.”

“Fen- why?”

“I have a sociology paper due on Tuesday.”

“I’ll write it for you.”

“I don’t want to be a third wheel for you again.”

“There’s going to be other people!”

“I don’t like people.”

Dorian sighed. “Fenris, please. I… Listen, I really like him. And I feel awkward enough as it is being the ‘fancy fragile mage flower Vint’ who is joining the outdoor club. What if there’s a fire? Or a bear? Or what if we all go skinny dipping but when I get out they all stole my clothes and are standing on the shore laughing at my third nipple?”

“On those points -,” Fenris sat back and counted on his fingers, “you’re a mage - use ice, you’re a mage - kill it, and lastly, I would be the one who stole your clothes.”

“I won’t tell anyone you sing Disney songs to your soulmate when you’re having a rough day.”

“...when’s the camp?”

“Tomorrow. I love you too.”

_ “I’m too sexy for my shirt ~ Too sexy for my shirt ~ so sexy it hurts” _

At least his soulmate was in a good mood it seems.

 

***

 

The ‘outdoor club’ turned out to be an excuse for a bunch of friends to go camp in the mountains somewhere where they could get drunk, talk shit, and just get away from the stress and business of the university and city. Fenris could appreciate that. 

There were a couple of vaguely familiar faces he was introduced to. Hawke and Iron Bull who were usually trying to ‘out lift’ each other in the campus gym, and Cassandra who usually won without trying. There was Varric who ran the campus paper, occupational therapy major Merrill, physiotherapy major Bethany, and psychotherapy major Josephine. Sera and Isabela were fashion majors, and Cole was into philosophy which was probably why he made everyone uncomfortable with his existential questions. 

No one was sure what Leliana majored in, and no one seemed brave enough to ask, Fenris only knew she had dealings with the Antivan Crows. Zevran had been instrumental in his rescue two years ago, and when he ran into the elf on campus he was having coffee with Leliana, chatting like old friends. 

Then there was Cullen. The captain of the club, he was referred to as ‘commander’ by the rest of the gang, especially when he was ordering them to ‘ _ put down the wine for a second and pitch your tents for Maker’s sake I’m not going to do it again sera what are you doing put down the bees where even did you get that wait no don’t answer I don’t want to know _ ’. Dorian orbited the man, but likewise the bashful but stubborn commander seemed to gravitate towards his mustachioed friend too. 

They were disgusting. Fenris was happy for them.

“And lastly,” Hawke gestured to the tall blond who decided a tent was not worth it and was setting up a military-style cot next to the fire. “This is Anders.”

Then there was Anders…

Anders was a medicine student, along with Vivienne, but unlike her - who he had met with Dorian at a very prestigious wine tasting society on an exclusive Orlesian country club outside town - he had seen Anders at the student health centre. There was something about the man that managed to confuse and conflict Fenris. Like he wanted to hug and slap the man. 

“Hey,” Anders gave him a lopsided smile, his amber brown eyes bright in the setting sun. 

Fenris eyed his cot. “Your choice of camping gear sure is... “

“...inspired?”

“I was going to say  _ practical _ . It seems many of the others remembered tents or sleeping bags, but rarely both. What you have here is a-”

“-good midway point, right? And I got it for a steal at the salvation army charity shop.”

Fenris gave a shrug. He didn’t like being interrupted but he could admire the man’s practicality and resourcefulness. 

“You can always join me in my tent, sweet thing!” Isabela winked. 

“Bela,” Hawke interrupted, “you keep asking everyone in the club to join you in your tent, I’m going to start feel like I’m not as special as you said!” The big man pulled a face like a Mabari being denied pats. 

“Oh they might have invites, but you have the only Premium VIP pass! Cross my heart.”

“I bet you say that to all the pretty boys.”

“And girls. This boat sails both ways.”

Cullen chose this moment to step forward, formally welcoming newcomers Dorian and Fenris. Cullen had already helped Dorian set up his tent - right next to his own. The basic rules were given - no fires outside the fire pit, no fighting without a referee, no wandering off without telling someone, you have to share your alcohol, you don’t have to share your food, and if you need to take a shit - take the spade and toilet paper and go do it behind the boulder at the far edge of camp, being sure to bury and cover it properly. 

“Urhggggg!” Sera groaned from where she sat in a tree. “Shut it already, yeah? We’re here to have no rules and have a go at life, not being told what to do by ser Cully Wully bossy boy.”

“Safety is important, Sera,” Anders said from his reclining position on his cot. “Remember that time I spent almost two hours plucking cactus pricks off you?”

“Pfft, wish someone would pluck your prick off.”

“Quite,” Cullen cleared his throat. “But with the formalities done, I now declare this gathering of the outdoor club in session!”

Everyone cheered, somehow most already having a drink in their hand as they raised it in hail to their commander. Hawke and Bull both shot the corks off sparkling wine bottles and (not so accidentally) spilling it over their matching tight white t-shirts (yes, really), to the delight to the girls in the camp.

Fenris rolled his eyes to the festivities as two fires were started in the firepit and everyone settled around. He wasn’t much for crowds, but he didn’t want to show his distaste. Dorian was on cloud 9 from the looks of it, preening and laughing and gesturing wildly with his hands as he and Cullen spoke. He turned to fix his own small one-man tent at the edge of camp.

“So. You’re not all elfly like other elves. I like that.” 

Fenris whipped around to see Sera. “I...suppose. Although elves from Tevinter are commonly slaves and peasants, not Dalish or city elves from alienages as you may be used to.”

“Oh. Shite. Forgot about that whole slavery deal. It that bad huh? You run away? Cause you’re here, that’s good, right? Those tattoos, they’re slave markings, yeah? I heard Dalish tattoos are slave markings. Might be wrong tho. Solas is a bit of a dick..”

He raised an eyebrow. What a strange unsettling woman. “No, I didn’t run away. If you must know I was a slave in Dorian’s household. I am technically here as his manservant. And these tattoos were of my own choice.”

Before Sera could say anything to that, Anders appeared at his side. “Did I just hear that correctly?” his voice was low but harsh and angry. “You’re Dorian’s slave?!”

Fenris wasn’t sure how he felt about the man listening in on their private conversation. Nor about the man’s clear anger at the idea. “It’s a technicality,” he corrected. “Dorian is my friend and we grew up together. I was released into Dorian’s care by his father who owned me, but I assure you I am only his property on paper. Dorian would sooner rip off his own mustache than treat me as anything but an equal.”

Anders narrowed his eyes at Fenris, as if trying to see if he was telling the truth. “I guess I’ll have to take your word for it.”

“And what do you care major And-arse? Frenris isn’t a charity case - he’s people! Now give me your vodka and I won’t tell.” With that she grabbed a bottle that was poking out from the blond’s bag under his cot and skipped away. 

The two men stared at her retreating back, neither knowing quite what to make of that. Fenris broke out of the trans first and turned back to his tent to find his red wine and the apple muffins he baked. 

He wasn’t sure if it was his own mind, his imagination, or his soulmate - but he could’ve sworn he heard the familiar lyrics and tune -  

_ “That’s not my name ~ that’s not my name.” _

 

***

 

“And that’s why you don’t bet against an Antivan,” Josephine added as everyone laughed, Cullen blushed, and Varric scribbled. 

“Oh Curly, good on you,” Varric chuckled. “Fortune favours the brave and all that.”

“It paid off well for you,” Leliana winked.

“Oh, do I sense a story?” Dorian prompted. 

It was only then that Fenris noted how close Varric and Cassandra were sitting. And how awkward they both suddenly looked. 

“Varric and Cass are soulmates,” Hawke said. “Like - hearing each other sing and everything. They signed up to that website - Soul Song? - and found one another.”

At that both Fenris and Dorian’s eyes went wide. The two shared a look across the fire. Dorian’s was of near uncontained excitement, Fenris’ was one of warning. 

“Oh I think it’s amazing!” Bethany cooed. “I’ve been trying to convince Anders to sign up with me all year.”

“And I’m not gonna.”

“Why not?” 

Everyone looked up to Fenris. It had been the first words he had spoken in front of everyone. Fenris squirmed and looked to Dorian for help, but the man was grinning like a smug cat. 

“Well, uhm,” Anders began, pulling the attention back to him. “Not that I think I owe anyone except my soulmate an explanation, but I… I- well… I believe that…”

Isabela appeared to have had enough of the mage’s sputtering. “Because he is a romantic fool who believes if it is meant to be they will find one another without the help of a website.”

Anders looked mortified and dropped his head into his hands. A muffled “thanks Isabela” had people chuckling and the conversation moved on. 

Fenris’ mind didn’t move on, however. He kept thinking over Anders’ decision, and Varric and Cassandra’s fortune. Should he sign up? Would he want to find his soulmate over a website? Or would that meeting pale in comparison to what they have now and the promise of meeting face to face? What if they met and they didn’t like one another?

He was so lost in thought over his glass of wine as he stared into the fire that he didn’t realise Hawke was talking to him till an apron hit his face. “Hoi, you good?”

“Oh don’t mind him,” Dorian said. “He gets like that when he’s thinking of his s-”

“I’m listening, Hawke. Do you need something?” Fenris quickly interrupted. 

“Oh, shit I didn’t know you actually zoomed out. Thought you were just ignoring me. Anyway. You didn’t pay attention when we voted so you’re on cooking duty.”

“Alone?”

“No, with Bethany, Anders and Merrill.”

“We volunteered!” Merril smiled broadly at him while cutting potatoes and carrots into a large pot with Bethany. 

“And Anders?”

“Wasn’t there when we voted either. Bull, Varric, Bethany, Cass, and me are going to go get firewood, Josie, and Leliana are on camp management duty, and Isabela, Cole, Sera, Dorian, and Cullen are securing the area from anyone or thing that might get curious of our camp. You know, against any bears that are not me,” Hawke winked. “And Vivienne is...looking for phone signal.”

Fenris gave a nod, and the big man grinned and jogged off. 

_ “Wipe, wipe, wipe ~ all day long. Wipe, wipe, wipe my ass while I sing this song” _

Fenris stumbled and snorted. It wasn’t the first time he’d heard that song, but it never failed to make him smile. No guessing what his soulmate was doing when he heard that. 

“You seem pretty happy about making stew?” Bethany asked as she scooted over to make room for him to join them around the pauldron. 

“No, it’s not that, its-”

“What did I miss? Oh Andraste’s knickerweasels… dinner duty again? I swear Hawke always waits until I go take a shit to vote on camp duties.”

Bethany chuckled. “I wouldn’t put it past him. He did say something about you being on ‘doody duty’.”

Anders dropped into his spot between Merrill and Fenris with a long suffering sigh. “Fine, such is my fate. Let’s get down to business, then.”

Fenris’ ears perked at that. Strange. It was almost- No. That’s ridiculous. 

Listening to Merrill, Bethany, and Anders chat over the huge pot as they all made collective estimates for how much meat, veggies, spices, water, and cheap wine should go into the stew, was rather comfortable. They teased and bantered, but it was clear there was friendliness there. Fenris didn’t for a second feel out of place, as Bethany would ask for his opinion, Merrill would ask him to taste, and Anders would keep including him in their conversation. 

In short time the stew was simmering and everyone had returned. 

***

“Anyway, here’s wonderwall-”

“Hawke no.”

“Why not,” the big man pouted at Anders as he lowered his guitar. 

“Because you sing it every time and then get all emotional. Now come here and help me and Varric carry the dishes to the stream to rinse them.”

Hawke sputtered and kicked at the dirt like a child throwing a tantrum for good measure, before passing the guitar off to Cullen to go help the other two men. The three of them lost a rock-paper-scissor tournament and were on dish duty, while the rest of the gang settled around the fire for smores and ‘painfully cliche round-the-fire camp singing’, as Vivienne pointed out from her designer camping chair in a Burberry coat. 

“Alright, who is next on our list of entertainers?” Leliana asked. “Maybe one of our newcomers?”

“Oh, Fenris has a lovely voice!” Dorian was a filthy backstabber and when Fenris got the chance he was going to murder him. “It’s low and rugged, but smooth and delicious - just like the elf himself.” Fenris growled as he glared at the evil emug mage snuggled into Cullen’s side. 

“Oh wonderful!” Bethany smiled. “Please sing for us? I can play if you like?”

Fenris looked up at the eager faces around the fire, and realised he wasn’t going to get out of this without looking like an ass. With a heavy sigh he held out his hand for the guitar. “It is fine, I can play.”

Bethany beamed while Merrill and Josie clapped in excitement. He took a few moments to familiarise himself with the instrument, plucking the strings to get a feel for the notes. 

He rolled his shoulders and settled comfortable. He disliked playing and singing in front of people, but Dorian and Felix did so love listening to him that it was hardly the first time. He closed his eyes and fell into a familiar song, his fingers knowing the way as the tune to ‘Hallelujah’ started to flow. 

_ “Well I've heard there was a secret chord - That David played and it pleased the Lord -But you don't really care for music, do you? Well it goes like this: The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift - The baffled king composing Hallelujah.  Hallelujah - Hallelujah - Hallelujah - Hallelujah...” _

Around him everything was silent, save for the gentle crackling of the fire. Everyone seemed transfixed as they watched him as his fingers danced over the strings and the song spilled from his lips. He barely noticed, so easily slipping into his own world when he sang, because usually he focused on singing for one person alone - his soulmate. 

“Well your faith was strong but you needed proof -You saw her bathing on the roof -Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya. She tied you to her kitchen chair -And she broke your throne and she cut your hair -And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah! Hallelujah - Hallelu-”

“That was the LAST time I’m on dish duty!” Anders announced as he suddenly stomped into the camp, unknowingly interrupting the song, dripping, followed by a snickering Hawke and a mostly apologetic but also snickering Varric. 

“Ah Blondie, you know we didn’t do it on purpose?”

“Oh REALLY? You didn’t squirt dish soap on the rubber dock knowing I was going to slip and fall in?”

“Well… we  _ hoped _ you would, it was a certainty,” Hawke shrugged as he put the tub of clean dishes down with a loud clanging. “...why is everyone looking at us all angry?”

Varric and Anders turned to see the gang around the fire all glaring at them with various degrees of murderous intent. Varric seemed to be the one to spot the guitar and how everyone was positioned to face Fenris. “We’re...sorry?”

Cassandra made a disgusted noise. “Don’t apologize to us, apologize to Fenris - he’s the one you interrupted.”

“You sing?” Anders turned and asked Fenris, that bright curiosity in his eyes again. 

“I did,” Fenris said simply, passing the guitar back to Bethany, who seemed disappointed but took it. 

“Hey Hawke,” Bull called. “If you don’t get your butt here there will be no s-more s'mores for you!” The two big dorks high-fived and laughed while the rest of the camp groaned in unison. The conversation picked up on its own with friends fighting over marshmallows and comparing their tasty treats. 

Fenris kept to himself, as usual, picking at his apple muffin as he watched the group with amusement. Cullen was tugging his hoodie over Dorian’s head, laughing and apologizing to the mage as he tried to fix his hair. Cassandra and Varric ignored one another but sat snuggly next to one another. Isabela was draped over Bull and Hawke’s laps, and Vivienne was not-so-subtly trying to move away from Cole who had chosen a spot next to her. 

It was then that he heard a familiar humming behind him, the tune of ‘Hallelujah’, coming from Anders as he changed into dry warm clothes. 

...how? No, no it was coincidence. He must have overheard him. Surely. 

_ “ Starry, Starry night ~” _

Fenris felt his heart stop beating for a moment. 

It was…

_ “~ paint your palette blue and gray ~ look out on a summer’s day ~ with eyes that know the darkness in my soul ~” _

The words… they echoed in his chest, ringing in his head, but he also heard them clear as day. He turned around to see the man looking up at the stars, a wistful look on his face. 

“Hey, Andy!” Bethany called. “Stop singing your tragic love songs to your soulmate and come here. I need you to settle an argument.”

Anders chuckled and moved to sit down between her and Dorian. “How else will they know that I think of them every time I see the night sky?” he said dramatically.

“Or that you have the whole tortured soul thing going on,” Hawke added through a mouth full of marshmallow. “Chubby bunny,” he added to Bull who had equally stuffed cheeks.

Dorian raised his eyebrows. “You purposefully sing to your soulmate?”

“Why not?” Anders asked. “I like to think they’ve been there for me through tough times, and I hope I was too.”

Bethany snorted and elbowed him. “He’s making it sound dramatic. He likes to sing Disney songs to them!” she teased. 

Anders gasped in mock scandal, then just shrugged. “Guilty as charged. No shame in singing to a loved one in my book. I had enough of being silenced and shamed.”

That seemed to have struck a core with some around the fire who flinched and looked at Anders in sympathy - there was something there Fenris didn’t know - and he didn’t need Dorian’s wide eyes on him now either, not when he had a question burning on his tongue. 

“You believe you love them? Even though you have never met?” he hoped no one could hear his heart pounding over the fire.

“Ah, I did use the L-word, didn’t I?” Anders winced awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Some treat it as little more than a game, it is a tool that can hurt as easily as it can heal, so I try not to use it a frivolously. But I feel like I know them, we have these… ‘conversations’ through mismatched lyrics, even though sometimes I need to look them up. It’s real. To me.”

Sera blew a raspberry and Merrill giggled. Isabela and Bethany shared a look of mischief before the Rivaini smirk, “you didn’t answer Fenris’ question, you know? Do you love them?”

Anders raised an eyebrow but saw the teasing looks his friends shot him. He laughed and shook his head, before lifting a hand theatrically to his forehead - 

_ “No chance ~ no way ~ I won’t say it no, no!” _

Fenris practically felt the words rumble, almost overwhelmed by hearing the song he’s heard for years, now both outside and inside himself. The disbelief and shock still rattling him. 

Bethany and Isabela joined in in what appeared to be a familiar routine: “You swoon - you sigh - why deny it, oh oh!” 

_ “It’s too ~ cliche ~ I won’t say I’m in love!” _

Anders… 

This was the man who had sung children’s verses to him, who had sung about his first crush and first heartbreak, who had soothed Fenris’ bad days and cheered him up, who had reached out and comforted him when he needed it most.

Anders was his soulmate. 

Fenris blinked back into reality, the conversation had moved on again, not minding his little crisis. The only eyes on him were Dorian’s, giving him a look that was part ‘are you okay?’ and part ‘was it just me or might be be…?’.

At the look Fenris unintentionally gave him back, Dorian’s eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open. His gaze darted between the carefree, friendly Anders chatting away with his friends, and the elf who just had his whole world turned upside down. 

‘Holy fuck’, Dorian mouthed the words at no one in particular. 

Just keep it together. Fenris just had to keep it together, and everything will be okay. He- he…

“E-excuse me,” he mumbled as he jumped to his feet and practically raced into the woods. Behind him he heard startled sounds and Dorian’s voice saying something about a sensitive stomach. 

 

***

 

It took a lot of pacing and a lot of arguing with himself like a lunatic before he felt like he wasn’t - in fact - going crazy. 

Anders was his soulmate. Anders took soulmates very seriously and maybe even loves him through their connection alone. Anders had said he would only want to meet his soulmate in person, and that’s how he knew it was ‘meant to be’. 

Now… All Fenris had to do was...ask?

He cleared his throat. There was no one around to hear him, he could barely see the light from the campfire in the distance. 

He had to do this. He owed it to his soulmate. To Anders. 

Anders said it was real to him, that they had conversations. Well, it was time they talked. 

_ “Hello… It’s me… I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet - to go over, everything.” _

_ “Hello ~ can you hear me? I’m in Kirkwall dreaming about who we used to be ~ when we were younger, and free ~ I’d forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet.” _

_ “Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy.” _

_ “I can show you the world ~ Shining, shimmering splendid ~Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?” _

_ “I've been alone with you inside my mind - And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times…. Hello, is it me you're looking for?” _

_ “Mamma Mia ~ here I go again! My my ~ how can I resist you? Mamma Mia ~ does it show again? My my ~ just how much I’ve missed you!” _

Fenris chuckled, only then realising his eyes were teary and although his heart was still beating a mile a minute, it was now out of overwhelming happiness and hope, where before it was panic and fear. 

He leaned against a tree, his elven eyes allowing him to see much better in the dark of the forest. Looking up he smiled at the stars. Anders always did sing a lot about the night sky. Now he knew why. 

But was he ready for this? Did Fenris love the soulmate he had kept close to his heart since he was 12 and first heard notes over their soul bond. 

_ “Wise men say… Only Fools rush in… But I can’t help - falling in love with you…” _

A snap of a twig was the only warning Fenris got before he spun around to find two wide golden brown eyes, bright and curious, but so full of awe, then heard the words from Anders’ lips and his heart.

_ “Shall I stay ~ would it be a sin…if I can’t help… falling in love with you.” _

The two men stood for a few moments, neither saying anything. The weight of their discovery settling on them till Fenris felt it choking him. 

“You found me…”

“Dorian said I should go after you. I didn’t understand why. He said he had a hunch.”

“...Dorian is a dick.”

“Yeah, I’ve gathered as much.” The two shared and awkward chuckle. “When did you know?”

“When you sang ‘starry starry night’.”

“No, that you loved me.”

“I…” the question had taken him by surprise, but it seemed his soulmate was nothing if not surprising. He sighed and leaned back against the tree, his gaze turned up at the stars. “I think I always did. I...didn’t have the best childhood.”

“You were a slave, right?”

“Indeed. My mother, sister, and I belong to the Pavus estate. I was raised with the notion that I was worth only what I was to my master, and that is nothing more than made me real. A slave’s thoughts, wishes, actions all revolve around what their master desires, I wasn’t supposed to have any dreams of my own. But then there was you…”

Anders slowly closed the gap between them till he was standing right in front of Fenris. “I was your dirty little secret?” he smirked.

“That you were,” Fenris smiled. “I never heard music before I felt you sing. You taught me so much, not only about myself but about you. There was never a moment where I pondered the matter - you had always been part of me. I… I am yours, Anders. Your soulmate, and anything more you wish me to be.”

Anders let out a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh as he took the final step separating them. Slowly he raised an unsteady hand to cup Fenris’ cheek. The gentle touch sent shiver down his spine. “All my life,” his voice was breaking but his tone was sure, “I had tried to convince myself I fairytales weren’t real.”

“Is that why you watched so many Disney movies?” Fenris teased, his hands reaching out to settle on the tall man’s hips. 

Anders threw his head back and laughed, a free and beautiful sound. “It is! I tried so hard to let go of my fantasies of meeting a prince charming who will come and sing to me, sweeping me off my feet. And here you are… singing with the voice of an angel, looking like the dashing hero, sweeping… And here I am, swooning.”

“Here we are…” Fenris cautiously wrapped his arms around Anders, the feeling of their warm bodies pressing together had his toes curling and his hears warming. “I found you. I can’t believe I found you.”

“Fenris?”

“Hm?”

“If you don’t kiss me right now I’m going to sing my poop song until you do.”

 

***

_ “Take my hand ~ take my whole life too ~” _

_ “Because I can’t help ~ Falling in love with you.” _

**Author's Note:**

> Songs!
> 
> \- Sitting in a tree song. Srsly. Duh.  
> \- ‘Part of that world’, The Little Mermaid  
> \- ‘I’ll make a man out of you’, Mulan  
> \- ‘I Won’t Say I’m in Love’, Hercules  
> \- ‘Dancing on My Own’, Calum Scott cover  
> \- ‘Cecilia’, Simon & Garfunkel  
> \- ‘That’s not my name’, Ting Tings  
> \- ‘Can’t help Falling in Love’, Elvis Presley  
> \- ‘Sound of Silence’, Simon and Garfunkel  
> \- ‘You are not alone’, Michael Jackson  
> \- ‘Run’, Leona Lewis  
> \- ‘I will survive, Gloria Gaynor  
> \- ‘My Heart will go on,’ Celine Dion  
> \- ‘I’m too Sexy’, Right Said Fred  
> \- ‘Wipe wipe wipe’ inspired by ‘mop mop mop’ in ‘The Beating of a High School Janitor’, Adam Sandler  
> \- ‘Hallelujah’, Leonard Cohen  
> \- ‘Starry Starry Night’, Don McLean  
> \- ‘I Won’t Say I’m in Love’, Hercules (again)  
> \- ‘Hello’, Adele  
> \- ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, Queen  
> \- ‘A whole new World’, Aladdin  
> \- ‘Hello’, Lionel Richie  
> \- ‘Mamma Mia’, ABBA  
> \- ‘Can’t help falling in love’, Elvis Presley (again)


End file.
